“Anger is poison you
must purge from your mind or else it will corrupt your better nature...”
·
Be
Aware of your anger warning signs and triggers
While
you might feel that you just explode into anger without warning, in fact, there
are physical warning signs in your body. Anger is a normal physical response.
It fuels the “fight or flight” system of the body, and the angrier you get, the
more your body goes into overdrive. Becoming aware of your own personal signs
that your temper is starting to boil allows you to take steps to manage your
anger before it gets out of control.
·
Looking after yourself may keep you calm
Make time to relax regularly,
and ensure that you get enough sleep. Drugs and alcohol can make anger problems
worse. “They lower inhibitions, and actually we need inhibitions to stop us
acting unacceptably when we’re angry,”
·
Getting Ready to Make a Change
Everyone
can change — but only when they want to. If you want to make a big change in
how you're handling your anger, think about what you'll gain from that change.
More self-respect? More respect from other people? Less time feeling annoyed and
frustrated? A more relaxed approach to life? Remembering why you want to make
the change can help.
·
What it looks like:
"I'm fine. It's fine. Everything's fine."
Even when there's a fireball of rage burning in your gut, you paste on a happy
face and dodge any display of irritation. This isn't passive aggression; it's
buried aggression.
·
Break It Down.
So
you're still simmering after your yearly review? If you jot down some of your
thoughts, whether with prehistoric pen and paper, you'll
gain some clarity as to how they're serving as the antecedents to your
feelings. In the process, you can sort out why you're upset and what steps you
can take work through the situation. Perhaps most important, putting your
feelings into words can make them feel more tangible, and therefore more
manageable—which can eventually help them work their way out of your system.
·
Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving
the issue at hand. Schedule meals later in the
evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that
anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.
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